Peter Vidani

Yesterday and Today have been almost non-stop Mario Galaxy. Thanks, Santa! — dalasverdugo

Megan: what store are you at?
Peter: None Of Your Business, ever heard of it?
Megan: no, what do they sell there?
Peter: bee’s wax

And, like countless other things in life, I’m reminded of tetris. Fitting odd shapes next to eacher to make a square. Also seen in your trunk, putting your groceries away. Also seen in the groceries, where the bagger placed your food. Also seen in sex, where the penis goes into the vagina.

There was a line in The Farnsworth Invention yesterday that I have yet to figure out.

Some background… The line was uttered in a description of David Sarnoff, who was the president of RCA/NBC. At first, Sarnoff wanted the airwaves to be free of advertising and profit primarily from the sale of radios. After the company suffered because of the Great Depression, Sarnoff was forced to put ads on the airwaves and his company grew tremendously as a result.

Anyway, the line is this: “Once you’re good at connecting consumers with advertisers, it’s hard to be good at anything else.”

Anybody out there have a take on what it could mean? Maybe that it’s easy to get comfortable with money?

— rickyv

Ricky— I think you’re right. The way I read it, connecting your consumer with your advertisers is the dead end for most entrepeneurs. It’s difficult to say whether this is a cynical statement or not, but given the context of media, I’d say it’s a knock to the jaw of media profiteers. In todays world, none of the giants have gone beyond profiting from their venture by means other than advertising.

Also given the context, he could be referring to the control advertisers are given when the media entrepeneur becomes the middleman. This can be seen largely in television, where the advertisers are the sole reason for censorship and most other content projected to the mainstream media. Content like sitcoms is created for a general audience, because it’s offering a further reach for advertisers. In this case, content is created for and by advertisers.

by myself, for the second weekend in a row.  Completely by choice. I haven’t told anyone that I’m going, and it’s because I don’t want them there bothering me while I’m trying to watch a movie.

Question: Andrew, my friend told me you hit on her at a bar in NYC. Her name was Leslie and she said you smelled really bad. Is this true? 
asked by dillweed on Saturday, April 3, 2004

Answer:
Dear Dillweed, You’re right, I did hit on her. I hit on her all night until she was bloody and smashed beyond recognition. Right when I got into the bar I walked right up to her and hit her right on the head and then I hit her in the stomach and smashed a beer bottle in her teeth and then I hit her elbows together so that they cracked and splintered. But that was only the very begining - I put on some construction gloves and grabbed her face and crunched it as I hard as I could so that the skin got all torn and scraped off - then I took a chair and put the leg of the chair on her stomach and then jumped on top of it so that it impaled her through the guts. I then got a brick in one hand and a hammer in the other and started hitting her in the face again and again and again. I was pretty exhausted after all that and I was dripping with sweat - that’s probably why she said I smelled bad. It was a hard time. Your friend, Andrew W.K.

First of all, accept my complete graditude for letting me pee on you. Remember that one time I backed up all the way to the handicap stall and my buddy Ryan rode under my golden path on his skateboard? Twice? Good times have been had, and for that I thank you.

Something else must be said, though. It’s about your flushing mechanism. You still never upgraded to a hand-free sensor. You’re old school, and I can usually respect that. You’re doing your thing and that’s cool. But I have to tell you, if I can’t flush you with a sidekick or jumping-front-hop-kick, you’re going to need to find another way to swallow my urine. Consider this a boycott. I’m never touching another urinal again, mattering not how shiny it is.

Also I love your cake. Also I’m sorry you’ll never experience a woman.