July 2011
June 2011
“My parents used to fly my brother and me down to visit my grandparents every summer. When I was 7, my mom had carpal tunnel surgery during one of those summers. My dad picked us up from the airport and explained during the three hour drive home that something had gone wrong and they’d had to amputate her hand and now she has a baboon hand. He kept it up the whole drive; little things like ‘There’s a lot of hair, but don’t mention it, she’s sensitive about it.’, ‘She’s still not used to how strong it is yet, it might hurt a little when she hugs you.’”
—Reddit: What’s the best you’ve ever been trolled IRL?
“Did I hire you to be bound by what’s possible?”
—Clients From Hell
Like I Do
R. Kelly
R. Kelly - Like I Do
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“The majority of iteration should be done in the privacy of your own head.”
—Steven Walker
I can’t believe there still isn’t a to-do list app that let’s you write with ink penmanship on a severed hand.
“I can’t get anything done unless I write it on my hand.”
“Hashtags are the ‘…NOT!’ of online comedy.”
—Nick Douglas
Things I've blocked out
- Brian: <Screen shot 2011-06-12 at 2.26.17 PM.png>
- Me: What is this from.
- Brian: A failed short we did. Casey is chatting online with a fake 16 year old girl. It turns out to be you wearing the Domo Kun box. We were going to shoot a kidnapping scene, but went mudding in your dad's Jimmy instead. You blew out a tire.
Just registered peter.do, any ideas?
There’s nothing worse than overcooked noodles.
- Dad: But at the end of the day gold is just metal. If the whole world is starving it isn't going to help us any. You know what will? Beans.
- Me: And ideas.
- Dad: No, beans. That's why I'm going to start collecting beans.
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Can’t believe there still isn’t a dog toy that looks like a little pile of homework.
