How to take a shorter shower

Admittedly, I take really long showers. Well I used to. At one point I could be seen in the shower with a full bowl of cereal, a cup of coffee, or an apple (the list could go on, if I weren’t so proud, but I will just note this: don’t bring hot wings in there. The reward in doing this isn’t even close to being worth it.) But in the past couple of weeks I’ve been working on a routine that could finally put an end to the 12 minute shower.

It’s simple. I eat breakfast, and I take a shower. These are the first two instinctual tasks that come to mind when I wake up; the two already coexist in my mornings. So here’s how I tie them together to achieve a 3 minute shower. I don’t have a toaster or a microwave, so the bagel takes about four and a half minutes to toast in my toaster oven. So I place the halves on the tray, set the oven to cook without a timer, and make for the bathroom. Now I’m forced to work at a pace that a bomb technician could be proud of. And if I don’t hurry, I’ll have a bagel as tough and as black as Wesley Snipes holding a sword.

I’ve been at it for about two weeks now and I haven’t taken a long shower since it started. I value a good bagel too much to do that. Also, the panic helps me wake up in the morning and it’s sort of fun. If you suffer from the same greed that I did, I suggest you give this a try. A couple of alternatives that come to mind are cracking an egg onto a medium heated pan, or pouring a bowl of cereal before you get in. If you don’t want it to be soggy, then get the hell out of the shower.